Random Kitties
by Fawneh1359 of AC
Summary: The Warriors have faced many dangerous cats. But none have been like these. For these kitties aren't plotting take over the world (Don't tell Silversky that because she will o.o"). For they torture. And are epic, random, and awesome. Beware.
1. Chapter 1

_**IMPORTANT!**_

_**PLS READ!**_

**Okay so I really need you to all promise me that you will read every authors note, at the beggining and end, every single time. PLS. I'm begging you. Say "I promise to read every AN at the beggining and end of this story every chapter." in ur review. Pls. **

**Anyway, to those of you who read How To Torture Your Enemy And Innocent Cats, most of the plot will be quite familiar. After all, this is the same story. As mentioned in that story, this will be funnier, longer, with better spelling, grammar, ect. Thanks for your support in my other story!**

**For all you new readers, I cannot thank you enough for coming to read.**

**Now before I bore everyone to death, we must proceed. (hehe proper XD).**

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The sun shone brightly over a large clearing surrounded by trees. At the edge of the clearing, a camera sat on a stand. It focused on two cats in the middle of the clearing. The first was a silver tabby she-cat with bright green eyes. Her left front paw was white, and she had a black-tipped tail. She looked like she was about 14 moons. Next to her, another silver tabby she-cat stood. She had stunningly bright and piercing aqua eyes. She had a white-tipped tail, and black paws. She looked the same age as the first cat. The green-eyed she-cat looked at the camera apologetically as the blue-eyes she-cat run around the clearing energetically.

"Sorry about her. Quick warning: Silversky is 100% hyper, 24/7. Anyway, welcome to Torturing Kitties! Here we will, obviously, torture kitties. Silversky named this show that, not me. StarClan knows why she did. Well, we are in StarClan so technically even StarClan doesn't know…ANYWAY, my name is Moonsparkle. As you probably figured out, this is Silversky," the green-eyed she-cat meowed, flicking her tail at the she-cat still running in circle as she said her name.

"HI! HI! HI RANDOM KITTIES! IM SILVERSKY! LEAF!" Silversky yowled. Moonsparkle walked over to a boulder slightly taller than her at the edge of the clearing and promptly facebouldered. **[AN: Face_= Facepalm but with random objects]** Silversky finally ran over to Moonsparkle and seemed to calm down.

"Moon, why does Snowfur love Thistleclaw? He is so vicious and power-hungry..." Silversky asked.

Moonsparkle laughed at how Silversky could turn from hyper to serious in a second. She then nodded, "I really don't know. She's so sweet!"

Suddenly, a blue she-cat with blue eyes and a silver muzzle appeared and meowed, "Finally, someone who agrees with me!" Neither Silversky nor Moonsparkle looked surprised by her sudden appearance.

"Hey Bluestar!" Moonsparkle purred. Silversky grinned.

"BLUEKITTY!" she yowled and started jumping again. Moonsparkle shook her head, watching her.

Suddenly, an old gray she-cat appeared, her bright orange eyes annoyed.

"Yellowfang, I'm warning you, Silver will torture and rename any cat that comes close," Moonsparkle told her.

"Okay, I'm done now!" Silversky yelled. Then, she saw Yellowfang.

"Dirtytooth!" she yowled, jumping up and down again. Yellowfang groaned at the name.

"Warned ya!" Moonsparkle meowed playfully, her green eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Young ones, always so hyper!" Yellowfang grumbled. Silversky finally seemed to calm down, only to start jumping again when she saw a leaf fall onto the ground.

"Oh StarClan, not again! Oh, wait, I am in StarClan. Fox dung!" Yellowfang muttered.

Moonsparkle laughed, watching Silversky. When she continued jumping, Moonsparkle rolled her eyes.

"Silver!"Moonsparkle yowled. The silver blue-eyed she-cat stopped.

"Yes?"

"Stop jumping!" Moonsparkle and Yellowfang shouted at the same time. Silvermist stopped and looked at them with innocent eyes. She then started running in circles. Again.

"I'm gonna go hit my head against a rock," Yellowfang grumbled, disappearing.

Moonsparkle sighed and looked at Bluestar, who had been watching, amused, with her tail over her paws. Bluestar smiled, shaking her head at Silversky.

"ICEFALL!" Moonsparkle yowled. A broad-shouldered tom with a pure white pelt and warm blue eyes appeared.

"Yes, Moon?"

"Did you let her into the Cave of Sugar?"

"...Maybe."

Moonsparkle rolled her eyes, and looked at the camera as Icefall attempted to calm Silversky down.

"This is Icefall, or Ice, Silver's mate. Aka probably the only one who can calm Silver," Moonsparkle meowed.

Bluestar laughed again, watching the scene. Silversky was looking at Icefall innocently, and Icefall was trying to keep her from jumping or running around. Moonsparkle was also watching the two.

Finally, Icefall stood, and walked to Moonsparkle with Silversky.

'"You really have to stop doing that!" Moonsparkle purred, referring to his letting Silversky into the Cave of Sugar. Icefall simply shrugged at her.

"We can finally start torturing cats now!" Moonsparkle exclaimed.

"Dirtytooth, Dirtytooth, dirty-dirty-dirtytooth! Dirtytooth, Dirtytooth, Dirty-" Silversky sang.

"For StarClan's sake, STOP!" Yellowfang interrupts.

"Aww! Do I have to, Dirtytooth?" she whined.

"For the last time, that's not my name!" Silversky smiled insanely, and Icefall laughed. Yellowfang glared at him.

"DO SOMETHING!" she yowled. Icefall chuckled.

"Nope," he replied. Yellowfang glared at him and he laughed again.

"Okay, I REALLY wanted to torture cats but that will, hopefully, be in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed Torturing Kitties!" Moonsparkle yowled. Bluestar and Yellowfang disappeared as Moonsparkle, Silversky, and Icefall meowed, "BYE!"

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**Before I forget, PLEAAAASSEEEE GO TO MY FORUM FOR THIS STORY! The link is the first thing on meh profile cuz for some reason I can't put it here.**

**Mmk so I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter/re-write.**

**Please tell me what you think in a review!**

_**Pls pls PLS review and follow and possibly even favorite? *puppy dog eyes***_

**Hmm...oh yeah, for the people who read HTTYEAIC: Please tell me of this is better than the old story one! I dunno if you remember the old one but if you DOOO, tell me. XD**

**K so BYE! I hope to update in a few days or less. I think im gonna start writing right now. Gotta force meh lazy butt to write dis stuffs. XDDDD k so bye. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Well, I just wanna start off by saying: WOAH. 13 reviews. For. 1. Chapter. I am so freaking happpyyy! XD haha**

**Anywho, just saying, half of this chapter was the size of the original one in HTTYEWIC...0o0! XD **

**Sorry this took so long i was lazy :P Heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**

**I think I did a pretty good job on this ^_^ **

**Now, I must mention the person who helped me with some parts and will be helping for pretty much the whole story unless I say otherwise:  
Solarsky of AC**

**Also, another person who helped with a few small parts is:  
Captain Amber of AC**

**Thanks girls!**

**Okay so this is turning out too long so I will just finish here and then write whatever else I think of at the end.**

**If you read this, WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE CUZ I SAID SO AND YOU PROMISED, say "A blue gorilla drove a machine with a wrecking ball," in your review. Don't ask. XD**

**Anyway, another quick thanks for the reviews and ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

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The sun floated in the bright blue sky, its warm rays cascading down onto StarClan. Poofy white clouds were scattered in the sky. A gentle breeze made the leaves sway slightly, making it seem as if the shadows on the ground were dancing. Moonsparkle and Silversky stood in the center of the clearing.

Moonsparkle unsheathed her claws and used one to start the live camera. She then grinned and started to speak.

"Hi! Welc-" Moonsparkle started.

"HI! WELCOME TO THE SECOND EPISODE OF TORTURING KITTIES! I'M HERE WITH MOON BUT OTHERS SHALL JOIN US LATER!" Silversky interrupted.

Moonsparkle hissed angrily. "Silver..."

"Yes?"

"DON'T INTERUPT ME!"

"Sorry..."

Moonsparkle picked up a stick and whacked Silversky with it, before dropping it and sitting down with an indignant, "HMPH."

Suddenly, a she-cat appeared in front if them, laughing at their antics. Her pelt was the color of gold. She had black spots, and her eyes were a bright green.

"Dawnspot!" Silversky exclaimed, grinning. Dawnspot smiled, nodding.

"So, who are we torturing today?" she asked.

"Shatteredstar?" Silversky asked hopefully.

"But I wanna tor-" Moonsparkle started.

"Please?"

"No. I wanna-"

"_Pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeee_?"

"But-"

"PLEEEEEEAAAASSSEEEE!? " Silversky looked at her with begging eyes.

"Fine, fine!" Moonsparkle exclaimed, giving in to Silversky's pleas.

"YAYYYYYYYYYYY! I'M A HYPER BUTTTTERRRRFLLLLLYYYYYYY YY!" Silversky yowled. Moonsparkle rolled her eyes, annoyed, but couldn't help laugh.

"Poor Brokenstar!" she meowed.

Laughing, Dawnspot walked over to the side of the clearing and suddenly, a metal stand that was big enough to have 20 cats standing on it, side-to-side, appeared in front of Dawnspot. A stand appeared right in front of her, and on the stand was a keyboard and screen.

"Woah..." Moonsparkle muttered. She had heard about the machine before, but this was her first time seeing it.

"Yup. My teleporter," Dawnspot meowed proudly. She had a special gift, which was being able to teleport things. But since this took up a lot of energy, she usually just used her teleporter.

"So cool! NOW GET SHATTEREDSTAR OVER HERE!" Silversky screamed. Dawnspot laughed, typed something and looked at the metal circle. A massive scarred dark brown tabby with matted fur, powerful shoulders, large paws, yellow teeth, thorn-sharp claws, bright amber eyes, and a bend in the middle of his tail appeared on it.

"MEEEEEEEEEP!" Silversky yowled. Moonsparkle looked at her weirdly before shaking her head and walking to Brokenstar.

"Hi Brokenstar," she purred. Brokenstar's eyes widened in fear.

"I'M A HYPER BUTTERFLY! HEY THERE'S SHATTEREDSTAR!" Silversky meowed.

"AHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! NO ONE SURVIVES WHEN THEY ARE AROUND A HYPER BUTTERFLY!" Brokenstar, nicknamed Shatteredstar, screeched at the sky. Silversky looked at him and just blinked. She had calmed down a bit.

"I'm not a hyper butterfly! I'm a hyper Silversky, silly!" she replied, swatting at his ear with her paw.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Brokenstar yowled and then started running around in circles.

Just then, an actual pink butterfly flew in with a stick floating behind it.

"I'M HYPER!" the butterfly shrieked and it used its awesome telekinesis powers to make the stick type something on the teleporter.

A machine with a chain connected to a wrecking ball appeared. It drove through the clearing, a blue gorilla with glowing green eyes driving it. The wrecking ball smacked Brokenstar in the head, drove to the teleporter, and disappeared with the butterfly and its stick.

Moonsparkle and Dawnspot stared at where the machine and butterfly were moments ago. Silversky just grinned.

"BYE!" she yowled.

Brokenstar's unconscious body was chucked in a regular metal cage while the others decided who to torture next.

Finally, Silversky suggested, "SNAKYFANG!"

Moonsparkle nodded and glanced at Dawnspot. Dawnspot quickly ran to her teleporter and seconds later, a big, tall, lean, broad-shouldered, dark drown tabby tom with usually long front claws, sharp teeth, a long, thick tail, a lighter muzzle and underbelly, and fierce, wide, pale, amber eyes appeared next to her.

Tigerstar's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Ohhhhh no. No no no no NO!" He then started to run away. At that moment, Brokenstar groaned and stood up. Moonsparkle watched as Tigerstar hit the invisible border that only allowed certain cats to pass. She laughed as he collapsed, unconscious, and dragged him to a cage.

Then, Dawnspot decided to bring in Icefall and someone else._ 'Pinebranch,'_ she thought. She ran over to her teleporter and typed in the names, watching as Icefall and another tom appeared next to her. The other tom had a thin, light brown pelt with white flecks all over, except his face. His muzzle and paws were white. His eyes were a bright green, like Moonsparkle's.

"Hey Icefall, Pinebranch!" Dawnspot purred. Silversky bounded over to Icefall, licked his cheek, and ran back to watching Brokenstar. Icefall laughed.

Moonsparkle was thinking of Brokenstar's punishments and looked up. Spotting Pinebranch, she ran over to him and nuzzled him. Pinebranch grinned.

"Hey sis!" he purred.

"Hey! It's been a while since I've seen you!" Moonsparkle replied.

"I hate to break this _lovely _reunion but I'm kinda waiting to LEAVE THIS PLACE!" Brokenstar hissed.

"NOT gonna happen, Shatteredstar," Silversky replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

**[A.N. Okay so they cant do that but they cant do half the things in this story so shush :P And yes I really did just make Brokenstar say derp below this A.N.. Deal with it. :P]**

"Derp."

"...Meep."

Moonsparkle burst out laughing and then looked at Brokenstar. "He shall die from cuteness." Then, she forced him to drink the special glowing blue potion that makes the StarClan cats revive in StarClan after they are killed. Brokenstar's eyes widened as he heard that and he screamed.

"RUN, BROKENSTAR! I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU, RUNNNNNNNNNNN!" a random voice said from the forest around the clearing.

"CAREFUL!" Moonsparkle called as Brokenstar tried to run out of the clearing. He looked back, confused that no one was following him, and wondering why Moonsparkle said that, before continuing to walk out. He then hit the invisible wall and Dawnspot, Pinebranch, Silversky, and Icefall looked at her.  
"What? We can't torture him if he is unconscious!" Moonsparkle meowed. Everyone nodded and picked luckily-still-conscious Brokenstar up. They placed him in the center of the clearing, as Pinebranch and Icefall dragged a regular cage on wheels. The cage was big enough for 15 cats. They threw Brokenstar in there and locked him up.

"May I PLEASE do the warnings?" Dawnspot asked. Moonsparkle nodded.

""If you come close to these us, there are three warnings. A hyper warning, a torture warning, and a death warning. You have been warned," Dawnspot warned. Brokenstar just stared at her blankly.

Dawnspot then ran to her teleporter and teleported adorable kits of all colors. They saw Brokenstar, and squeaked, "ATTACK!" They ran into the cage, and then Brokenstar died of cuteness. Of course, then he was revived back into StarClan. He was thrown on the teleporter by the toms and disappeared.

Tigerstar then woke up, and whimpered. Moonsparkle laughed.

"Consider yourself lucky, you have another day to live," Moonsparkle meowed, grinning.

"...Okayyy then?" Tigerstar replied. Moonsparkle then pushed away his cage.

"Well, that's enough for today! I ho-" Moonsparkle was interrupted by a a huge, sleek, thick-furred, dark brown tiger-striped tabby tom with a long tail and amber eyes appearing next to her. She glared at Dawnspot, knowing her friend knew how much he annoyed her.

Tigerheart purred and nuzzled Moonsparkle. "Hey beautiful."

"Ewww! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Moonsparkle shrieked.

Tigerheart grinned. "Feisty. I like it," he purred.

Pinebranch immediately jumped on Tigerheart, being the overprotective brother he is, and started clawing him.

"Pin him!" Moonsparkle called, and grabbed her huge mallet.

_A few minutes later..._

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!" Tigerheart groaned. Moonsparkle grinned.

"As I was saying, hope you enjoyed this episode of Torturing Kitties! See you soon!"

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**Just wanna say: this was freaking hilarious XD Also, the "revive in StarClan" thing is like they reappear in StarClan. or DF, either one.**

**yeah so i already explained how happy I am about the reviews...**

**I have 2 requests:**

**1: Pls pls PLS go to my forum for this! (first link on my profile) I would REALLY appreciate it and would be SO happy if everyone who read this went :D. Also, I got one review with criticism about the Caps and everything...Well, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ITS A RANDOM STORY XD" If ya dont like it, dont read or follow. Simple.**

**2: Please spread the word about this story, and tell your friends. I will be SO grateful if you get more people.**

**IMPORTANT! My goal for the next capter is 14 reviews. I got 13 last time. Pleeeasseeeee review AND get your friends to look at this story too! Maybe I will even refuse to update till I get that many reviews hehe *evil laugh* XD**

**So, thats it for this chapter! Bye, my kitties :D  
~Fawneh**


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